Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.
The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my
advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth;
oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you imagine.
Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing everyday that scares you Sing
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss
Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.
Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements. Stretch Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.
Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.. Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.
Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on.
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don’t expect anyone else to support you.
Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen…
Sunday, May 20, 2007
R.A.V.A.N.S
Bernard Meltzer was a radio host in the United States for several decades. Amongst his many(or few, who cares?!) notable quotes, the one which holds relevant to this posting is the following one:
'A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked'
Rahul and I go back several years. I know him since I was 5 years old. Akash came across as a geeky 10 year old when I met him for the first time when we were in the 5th grade. Aditya, or 'Gai' as he is well known among everyone who know him and also my true and tender lover ;-), walked into my life when we were in the 8th grade. Vinay Navani (his other names being Despo, plunderer of women and bitches, Navani Uncle etc) reminded me of Shaheed Bhagat Singh when I first spoke to him in the 9th grade. And then in the 10th grade, Nimit Nair a.k.a Gorilla a.k.a Grizzly barged into the classroom and immediately rested his fat butt on the same bench on which Rahul had occupied his seat. And at that moment, waves crashed onto boulders, volcanoes started spitting out lava, earthquakes swallowed entire civilizations and babes wearing short skirts morphed into men with hairy legs! Well, not really :P
I still remember those days as vividly as I remember today's menu. Rahul, Aditya, Vinay, Akash, Nimit And I struck an instant chord (or rather, 'struck instant chords') and thus was formed the most esoteric and elite clan in the entire universe. And Vinay christened it 'R.A.V.A.N.S' . For the ones who dont know my name, its Sham :)
Akash was the Head-Boy of our class and Aditya (wow!...its been a while since I referred to 'Gai' as Aditya!) was a prospective merit ranker. And Rahul had one of the most sought after babe in our school on his fingertips (and other tips as well ;) ). The rest of us were as bland as a mixture of salt and sugar. Nevertheless, R.A.V.A.N.S was in the game , and boy!...has it been a playaa!
The last year of school was as exciting as a Brazil v/s Argentina World Cup Soccer final game and then the six of us along with many other students were thrown into the big bad world of Junir College. Akash joined Ruia and impregnated countless women over there and failed in the Hindi paper of all the examinations conducted by the college. But managed to scrape through the final one conducted by the Maharashtra State Board! Rahul, Aditya and Vinay joined Swami Vivekanand Junior College and it goes without saying that all those who stay in Mumbai would be knowing that S.V.J.C is worse than school and hence they couldnt have too much fun (although, they would vehemently deny this claim). And the fact that Vinay and Aditya were too busy studying didnt help matters. Hence Rahul had to make do by meeting up with Akash, Boku (a common friend) and me very frequently. Nimit had joined S.I.E.S College in Nerul and was busy studying as well as ogling at pretty chics , who by the way, were afraid of his gorilla like mannerisms. My quota of 2 years of junior college was spent in S.I.E.S College Of Arts, Science & Commerce which had tonnes of babes and a spacious canteen which still serves delicious fare.
Unfortunately, none of the babes were interested in my mannerisms and thus kept away from me. But the six of us managed to keep in touch even through those 2 years during which all of us acted like we were busybodies.
And after that, came the trip to Alibaug. The days and the evenings were spent in playing cricket and football on the beach. There were intermittent breaks for having lunch and dinner during which we gorged on fish, rice and more fish...
The nights were spent playng Ono and reciting ghost stories to each other and trying to wake up Akash , who somehow managed to sleep 41 winks in that boiling heater which we called a room.
But the trip had its share of drama as well which involved a lot of tears and gave rise to unfounded fears! But it somehow managed to strengthen our bond. Our bond of friendship!
And since then, it has been an absolute joyride. Right from ogling at gals whenever we go to Bandra or trying to leach at more gals whenever we go to Bandstand in the middle of the night. And also hogging on all kinds of food, pulling each other's legs, annoying Nimit by calling him gorilla ,and more recently, grizzly. Instigating Vinay to molest Aditya has become a regular affair and hearing Akash reveal his various conquests has never failed to shock us. Rahul sings wonderful songs while playing his guitar and your's truly does nothing but crack sidey comments on everything and everyone being discussed.
It has been a superb journey which has lasted 6 years, and I hope it lasts 60 more years! Oh Damn!...who am I kidding?!...I hope it lasts till everything lasts...because R.A.V.A.N.S has made us realize that we might be boorish buggers to people around us, but to each other we have been brothers...from different mothers! (this is a quote stolen from a very dear friend!)
Cheers!....(with lassi, beer and scotch!)
'A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked'
Rahul and I go back several years. I know him since I was 5 years old. Akash came across as a geeky 10 year old when I met him for the first time when we were in the 5th grade. Aditya, or 'Gai' as he is well known among everyone who know him and also my true and tender lover ;-), walked into my life when we were in the 8th grade. Vinay Navani (his other names being Despo, plunderer of women and bitches, Navani Uncle etc) reminded me of Shaheed Bhagat Singh when I first spoke to him in the 9th grade. And then in the 10th grade, Nimit Nair a.k.a Gorilla a.k.a Grizzly barged into the classroom and immediately rested his fat butt on the same bench on which Rahul had occupied his seat. And at that moment, waves crashed onto boulders, volcanoes started spitting out lava, earthquakes swallowed entire civilizations and babes wearing short skirts morphed into men with hairy legs! Well, not really :P
I still remember those days as vividly as I remember today's menu. Rahul, Aditya, Vinay, Akash, Nimit And I struck an instant chord (or rather, 'struck instant chords') and thus was formed the most esoteric and elite clan in the entire universe. And Vinay christened it 'R.A.V.A.N.S' . For the ones who dont know my name, its Sham :)
Akash was the Head-Boy of our class and Aditya (wow!...its been a while since I referred to 'Gai' as Aditya!) was a prospective merit ranker. And Rahul had one of the most sought after babe in our school on his fingertips (and other tips as well ;) ). The rest of us were as bland as a mixture of salt and sugar. Nevertheless, R.A.V.A.N.S was in the game , and boy!...has it been a playaa!
The last year of school was as exciting as a Brazil v/s Argentina World Cup Soccer final game and then the six of us along with many other students were thrown into the big bad world of Junir College. Akash joined Ruia and impregnated countless women over there and failed in the Hindi paper of all the examinations conducted by the college. But managed to scrape through the final one conducted by the Maharashtra State Board! Rahul, Aditya and Vinay joined Swami Vivekanand Junior College and it goes without saying that all those who stay in Mumbai would be knowing that S.V.J.C is worse than school and hence they couldnt have too much fun (although, they would vehemently deny this claim). And the fact that Vinay and Aditya were too busy studying didnt help matters. Hence Rahul had to make do by meeting up with Akash, Boku (a common friend) and me very frequently. Nimit had joined S.I.E.S College in Nerul and was busy studying as well as ogling at pretty chics , who by the way, were afraid of his gorilla like mannerisms. My quota of 2 years of junior college was spent in S.I.E.S College Of Arts, Science & Commerce which had tonnes of babes and a spacious canteen which still serves delicious fare.
Unfortunately, none of the babes were interested in my mannerisms and thus kept away from me. But the six of us managed to keep in touch even through those 2 years during which all of us acted like we were busybodies.
And after that, came the trip to Alibaug. The days and the evenings were spent in playing cricket and football on the beach. There were intermittent breaks for having lunch and dinner during which we gorged on fish, rice and more fish...
The nights were spent playng Ono and reciting ghost stories to each other and trying to wake up Akash , who somehow managed to sleep 41 winks in that boiling heater which we called a room.
But the trip had its share of drama as well which involved a lot of tears and gave rise to unfounded fears! But it somehow managed to strengthen our bond. Our bond of friendship!
And since then, it has been an absolute joyride. Right from ogling at gals whenever we go to Bandra or trying to leach at more gals whenever we go to Bandstand in the middle of the night. And also hogging on all kinds of food, pulling each other's legs, annoying Nimit by calling him gorilla ,and more recently, grizzly. Instigating Vinay to molest Aditya has become a regular affair and hearing Akash reveal his various conquests has never failed to shock us. Rahul sings wonderful songs while playing his guitar and your's truly does nothing but crack sidey comments on everything and everyone being discussed.
It has been a superb journey which has lasted 6 years, and I hope it lasts 60 more years! Oh Damn!...who am I kidding?!...I hope it lasts till everything lasts...because R.A.V.A.N.S has made us realize that we might be boorish buggers to people around us, but to each other we have been brothers...from different mothers! (this is a quote stolen from a very dear friend!)
Cheers!....(with lassi, beer and scotch!)
Monday, January 15, 2007
How to get over a disappointing failure
Greetings,
Due to sheer laziness followed by a bout of extreme inactivity, I was unable to post a blog for more than a month! And hence, I apologize to Kunal and Anamika (they are the ones, who have commented on my previous post) for not catering to your vouyeristic pleasures...
And I apologize again for the cheesy sentence on vouyerism.
I apologize and seek pardons almost everytime I speak to someone. That is because I almost always end up annoying everyone I speak to! It goes without saying that I am a moron with manners!
Coming back to the title, I would firsly enlighten you about my failure. I got a miserable, measly, condescendingly low percentile of 72.76 in CAT. As almost every student in India is aware of CAT, I wouldnt go beyond saying that CAT is an acronym for Common Aptitude Test which is conducted by the Indian Institutes Of Management.
Around 1,95,000 students,competing for 1,300 seats, attempted this exam which was held on November 19, 2006. This test contained 75 questions with 4 marks for each correct answer and a negative score of 1 mark for each incorrect answer. The CAT question paper had a couple of errors, but was otherwise, CRACKABLE!
The DI and Quant sections were comparitively easier than the Vocabulary section. And this observation comes from your's truly who was acing the Vocab section in the MOCK CAT papers but was getting butt-raped (sorry for the profanity) in the other tw0 sections.
But alas, I yet again failed myself by not being able to clear yet another enterance exam ( I couldnt clear AIEEE 2004, an enterance exam held by Narsee Monjee Institute of Management Studies in the same year for an integrated course in Engineering & Management).
I also failed to clear NMAT 2006 and SNAP 2006.
However, considering the fact that I attempted CAT 2006 without serious preparations as it was held right in between my University Exams, reminding myself that I was the Chair Person of my college festival and nagged by a knack to lose victory to the jaws of defeat, I accepted failure as a man would. The fact that I failed to secure a minimum of 90 percentile in CAT pained me incessantly. It seemed that the goal which I wanted to achieve is unreachable.
However, I realized that failure is just another way of God telling man that "Son, you can do better. As I want to bring out the best in you, it was predestined for you to fail. Remember, a man who has failed will never fear failure. But a man who has never failed will always fear failure. Make better use of the opportunities which are coming your way. You will surely do well"
The words typed above has surely inspired me to do well. I hope the next time I type about an opportunity, it will be about an opportunity which I have succeded to get.
P.S. -> Seriously, I did not want to type out such a serious blog, it reminds me of an essay which I wrote in the third standard. Anyways, to make u guyz feel better, here is a small limerick I composed :
plz lie, plz booze,
plz have sex, and have the right to choose.
plz cry, plz die,
and den lemme give u a high-five!
I hope this pathetic limerick has succeded in bringing a faint smile in your lips.
Adios for now!
(This is what u must be thinking ->Thank God, this dude finished typing out this blog, it almost made me vomit! Y!?..Y?!...did i read his blog?!...)
P.P.S -> Ignore all what I have typed above, remember a decent dose of humour is all what you need to get over failure. Cheers!. And yeah...better work hard the next time! ;)
Due to sheer laziness followed by a bout of extreme inactivity, I was unable to post a blog for more than a month! And hence, I apologize to Kunal and Anamika (they are the ones, who have commented on my previous post) for not catering to your vouyeristic pleasures...
And I apologize again for the cheesy sentence on vouyerism.
I apologize and seek pardons almost everytime I speak to someone. That is because I almost always end up annoying everyone I speak to! It goes without saying that I am a moron with manners!
Coming back to the title, I would firsly enlighten you about my failure. I got a miserable, measly, condescendingly low percentile of 72.76 in CAT. As almost every student in India is aware of CAT, I wouldnt go beyond saying that CAT is an acronym for Common Aptitude Test which is conducted by the Indian Institutes Of Management.
Around 1,95,000 students,competing for 1,300 seats, attempted this exam which was held on November 19, 2006. This test contained 75 questions with 4 marks for each correct answer and a negative score of 1 mark for each incorrect answer. The CAT question paper had a couple of errors, but was otherwise, CRACKABLE!
The DI and Quant sections were comparitively easier than the Vocabulary section. And this observation comes from your's truly who was acing the Vocab section in the MOCK CAT papers but was getting butt-raped (sorry for the profanity) in the other tw0 sections.
But alas, I yet again failed myself by not being able to clear yet another enterance exam ( I couldnt clear AIEEE 2004, an enterance exam held by Narsee Monjee Institute of Management Studies in the same year for an integrated course in Engineering & Management).
I also failed to clear NMAT 2006 and SNAP 2006.
However, considering the fact that I attempted CAT 2006 without serious preparations as it was held right in between my University Exams, reminding myself that I was the Chair Person of my college festival and nagged by a knack to lose victory to the jaws of defeat, I accepted failure as a man would. The fact that I failed to secure a minimum of 90 percentile in CAT pained me incessantly. It seemed that the goal which I wanted to achieve is unreachable.
However, I realized that failure is just another way of God telling man that "Son, you can do better. As I want to bring out the best in you, it was predestined for you to fail. Remember, a man who has failed will never fear failure. But a man who has never failed will always fear failure. Make better use of the opportunities which are coming your way. You will surely do well"
The words typed above has surely inspired me to do well. I hope the next time I type about an opportunity, it will be about an opportunity which I have succeded to get.
P.S. -> Seriously, I did not want to type out such a serious blog, it reminds me of an essay which I wrote in the third standard. Anyways, to make u guyz feel better, here is a small limerick I composed :
plz lie, plz booze,
plz have sex, and have the right to choose.
plz cry, plz die,
and den lemme give u a high-five!
I hope this pathetic limerick has succeded in bringing a faint smile in your lips.
Adios for now!
(This is what u must be thinking ->Thank God, this dude finished typing out this blog, it almost made me vomit! Y!?..Y?!...did i read his blog?!...)
P.P.S -> Ignore all what I have typed above, remember a decent dose of humour is all what you need to get over failure. Cheers!. And yeah...better work hard the next time! ;)
Saturday, December 2, 2006
What is Love
Greetings,
Since my first post deals with a topic which has been debated since the invention of language, I really do not believe that my words are going to discover anything which shall appeal to pundits and paramours. But I do believe, that it would enable me to rediscover myself, my thoughts and what I need to do in order to create order in a chaotic mind. My mind.
Love cannot be defined. It cannot be classified. It is an emotion which cannot be explained just as an amalgamation of hormones.
I thought, that I would never fall in love. I thought that I would never fall prey to the most basic of human weaknesses. A society which has always frowned upon love affairs had made me believe that to rise above mere mortals, I would need to be an individual who has his emotions under control. To become an ubermench, to be the alpha male , to be a mentor who sacrifices his very being , his every belonging for the betterment of a noble cause, it was absolutely essential to be a person who wouldnt fall into such deplorable depths. But God and Life had other ideas, as they always have and they always will. The time came, when I saw her. Time stopped. Life seemed eternal. God seemed to be visible. A heart attack seemed eminent!
She did not even look at me. To her, I was a speck of dirt on a grain of sand. TO her, I was a non existent entity. To her I was weightless matter.
Love happened. So, I finally realized that love does exist. It doesnt spare the Gods. And that day, I realized that I am mortal. So much for my intentions. So much for my views about lovers being agents of Satan. So much for the fact that my best friend who was having an affair seemed to be the most successful man on earth. The pursuit of attaining her love became the only objective of my life. She came, I saw, I was conquered.
It took me a couple of months to gather courage and talk to her. I even managed to ask her name. She replied. For a few minutes, the only thought in my mind was her name. A name which sounded to be the second most melodious sound in the world. The first being 'Amma'.
A few more months passed by. I cursed myself. I cursed the seasons. Because they changed so soon. Because they never gave me an opportunity to ask her out. Because I appeared so gawky, so irritating and very annoying to her. Every working day, I used to see her for a couple of hours. Those couple of hours were all what mattered to me. I wanted her to be mine. I wanted our kids to be like her. She was my only purpose. She was my only destiny. She was to be mine. Just mine. And anyone else who had set his sight on her would be immersed in the devil's pot and scalded forever. And even after that as well!
Then she left. And met me after a few months. I was still enamoured by her. And I realized that I even dont have her phone number! But I had a couple of years to work my magic. Probably, fate would assist me. But as always, fate had other plans.
An year passed. And I stopped loving her. I wondered how could I stop loving her! It was just an infatuation. But can an infatuation be so strong?! Can love be so weak? Can love just start and stop? Can love be measured? Can love be....whatnot!!?
Indeed I still think about her sometimes. But, the seasons have passed and I dont curse them anymore. I believe that she wasnt meant to be mine. I wasnt meant to be hers. I think I finally realized what love is. Love is my first crush. It was my first crush. It was your first crush as well.
And can you believe it? I still dont have her number!
Since my first post deals with a topic which has been debated since the invention of language, I really do not believe that my words are going to discover anything which shall appeal to pundits and paramours. But I do believe, that it would enable me to rediscover myself, my thoughts and what I need to do in order to create order in a chaotic mind. My mind.
Love cannot be defined. It cannot be classified. It is an emotion which cannot be explained just as an amalgamation of hormones.
I thought, that I would never fall in love. I thought that I would never fall prey to the most basic of human weaknesses. A society which has always frowned upon love affairs had made me believe that to rise above mere mortals, I would need to be an individual who has his emotions under control. To become an ubermench, to be the alpha male , to be a mentor who sacrifices his very being , his every belonging for the betterment of a noble cause, it was absolutely essential to be a person who wouldnt fall into such deplorable depths. But God and Life had other ideas, as they always have and they always will. The time came, when I saw her. Time stopped. Life seemed eternal. God seemed to be visible. A heart attack seemed eminent!
She did not even look at me. To her, I was a speck of dirt on a grain of sand. TO her, I was a non existent entity. To her I was weightless matter.
Love happened. So, I finally realized that love does exist. It doesnt spare the Gods. And that day, I realized that I am mortal. So much for my intentions. So much for my views about lovers being agents of Satan. So much for the fact that my best friend who was having an affair seemed to be the most successful man on earth. The pursuit of attaining her love became the only objective of my life. She came, I saw, I was conquered.
It took me a couple of months to gather courage and talk to her. I even managed to ask her name. She replied. For a few minutes, the only thought in my mind was her name. A name which sounded to be the second most melodious sound in the world. The first being 'Amma'.
A few more months passed by. I cursed myself. I cursed the seasons. Because they changed so soon. Because they never gave me an opportunity to ask her out. Because I appeared so gawky, so irritating and very annoying to her. Every working day, I used to see her for a couple of hours. Those couple of hours were all what mattered to me. I wanted her to be mine. I wanted our kids to be like her. She was my only purpose. She was my only destiny. She was to be mine. Just mine. And anyone else who had set his sight on her would be immersed in the devil's pot and scalded forever. And even after that as well!
Then she left. And met me after a few months. I was still enamoured by her. And I realized that I even dont have her phone number! But I had a couple of years to work my magic. Probably, fate would assist me. But as always, fate had other plans.
An year passed. And I stopped loving her. I wondered how could I stop loving her! It was just an infatuation. But can an infatuation be so strong?! Can love be so weak? Can love just start and stop? Can love be measured? Can love be....whatnot!!?
Indeed I still think about her sometimes. But, the seasons have passed and I dont curse them anymore. I believe that she wasnt meant to be mine. I wasnt meant to be hers. I think I finally realized what love is. Love is my first crush. It was my first crush. It was your first crush as well.
And can you believe it? I still dont have her number!
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