Greetings,
Due to sheer laziness followed by a bout of extreme inactivity, I was unable to post a blog for more than a month! And hence, I apologize to Kunal and Anamika (they are the ones, who have commented on my previous post) for not catering to your vouyeristic pleasures...
And I apologize again for the cheesy sentence on vouyerism.
I apologize and seek pardons almost everytime I speak to someone. That is because I almost always end up annoying everyone I speak to! It goes without saying that I am a moron with manners!
Coming back to the title, I would firsly enlighten you about my failure. I got a miserable, measly, condescendingly low percentile of 72.76 in CAT. As almost every student in India is aware of CAT, I wouldnt go beyond saying that CAT is an acronym for Common Aptitude Test which is conducted by the Indian Institutes Of Management.
Around 1,95,000 students,competing for 1,300 seats, attempted this exam which was held on November 19, 2006. This test contained 75 questions with 4 marks for each correct answer and a negative score of 1 mark for each incorrect answer. The CAT question paper had a couple of errors, but was otherwise, CRACKABLE!
The DI and Quant sections were comparitively easier than the Vocabulary section. And this observation comes from your's truly who was acing the Vocab section in the MOCK CAT papers but was getting butt-raped (sorry for the profanity) in the other tw0 sections.
But alas, I yet again failed myself by not being able to clear yet another enterance exam ( I couldnt clear AIEEE 2004, an enterance exam held by Narsee Monjee Institute of Management Studies in the same year for an integrated course in Engineering & Management).
I also failed to clear NMAT 2006 and SNAP 2006.
However, considering the fact that I attempted CAT 2006 without serious preparations as it was held right in between my University Exams, reminding myself that I was the Chair Person of my college festival and nagged by a knack to lose victory to the jaws of defeat, I accepted failure as a man would. The fact that I failed to secure a minimum of 90 percentile in CAT pained me incessantly. It seemed that the goal which I wanted to achieve is unreachable.
However, I realized that failure is just another way of God telling man that "Son, you can do better. As I want to bring out the best in you, it was predestined for you to fail. Remember, a man who has failed will never fear failure. But a man who has never failed will always fear failure. Make better use of the opportunities which are coming your way. You will surely do well"
The words typed above has surely inspired me to do well. I hope the next time I type about an opportunity, it will be about an opportunity which I have succeded to get.
P.S. -> Seriously, I did not want to type out such a serious blog, it reminds me of an essay which I wrote in the third standard. Anyways, to make u guyz feel better, here is a small limerick I composed :
plz lie, plz booze,
plz have sex, and have the right to choose.
plz cry, plz die,
and den lemme give u a high-five!
I hope this pathetic limerick has succeded in bringing a faint smile in your lips.
Adios for now!
(This is what u must be thinking ->Thank God, this dude finished typing out this blog, it almost made me vomit! Y!?..Y?!...did i read his blog?!...)
P.P.S -> Ignore all what I have typed above, remember a decent dose of humour is all what you need to get over failure. Cheers!. And yeah...better work hard the next time! ;)
Monday, January 15, 2007
Saturday, December 2, 2006
What is Love
Greetings,
Since my first post deals with a topic which has been debated since the invention of language, I really do not believe that my words are going to discover anything which shall appeal to pundits and paramours. But I do believe, that it would enable me to rediscover myself, my thoughts and what I need to do in order to create order in a chaotic mind. My mind.
Love cannot be defined. It cannot be classified. It is an emotion which cannot be explained just as an amalgamation of hormones.
I thought, that I would never fall in love. I thought that I would never fall prey to the most basic of human weaknesses. A society which has always frowned upon love affairs had made me believe that to rise above mere mortals, I would need to be an individual who has his emotions under control. To become an ubermench, to be the alpha male , to be a mentor who sacrifices his very being , his every belonging for the betterment of a noble cause, it was absolutely essential to be a person who wouldnt fall into such deplorable depths. But God and Life had other ideas, as they always have and they always will. The time came, when I saw her. Time stopped. Life seemed eternal. God seemed to be visible. A heart attack seemed eminent!
She did not even look at me. To her, I was a speck of dirt on a grain of sand. TO her, I was a non existent entity. To her I was weightless matter.
Love happened. So, I finally realized that love does exist. It doesnt spare the Gods. And that day, I realized that I am mortal. So much for my intentions. So much for my views about lovers being agents of Satan. So much for the fact that my best friend who was having an affair seemed to be the most successful man on earth. The pursuit of attaining her love became the only objective of my life. She came, I saw, I was conquered.
It took me a couple of months to gather courage and talk to her. I even managed to ask her name. She replied. For a few minutes, the only thought in my mind was her name. A name which sounded to be the second most melodious sound in the world. The first being 'Amma'.
A few more months passed by. I cursed myself. I cursed the seasons. Because they changed so soon. Because they never gave me an opportunity to ask her out. Because I appeared so gawky, so irritating and very annoying to her. Every working day, I used to see her for a couple of hours. Those couple of hours were all what mattered to me. I wanted her to be mine. I wanted our kids to be like her. She was my only purpose. She was my only destiny. She was to be mine. Just mine. And anyone else who had set his sight on her would be immersed in the devil's pot and scalded forever. And even after that as well!
Then she left. And met me after a few months. I was still enamoured by her. And I realized that I even dont have her phone number! But I had a couple of years to work my magic. Probably, fate would assist me. But as always, fate had other plans.
An year passed. And I stopped loving her. I wondered how could I stop loving her! It was just an infatuation. But can an infatuation be so strong?! Can love be so weak? Can love just start and stop? Can love be measured? Can love be....whatnot!!?
Indeed I still think about her sometimes. But, the seasons have passed and I dont curse them anymore. I believe that she wasnt meant to be mine. I wasnt meant to be hers. I think I finally realized what love is. Love is my first crush. It was my first crush. It was your first crush as well.
And can you believe it? I still dont have her number!
Since my first post deals with a topic which has been debated since the invention of language, I really do not believe that my words are going to discover anything which shall appeal to pundits and paramours. But I do believe, that it would enable me to rediscover myself, my thoughts and what I need to do in order to create order in a chaotic mind. My mind.
Love cannot be defined. It cannot be classified. It is an emotion which cannot be explained just as an amalgamation of hormones.
I thought, that I would never fall in love. I thought that I would never fall prey to the most basic of human weaknesses. A society which has always frowned upon love affairs had made me believe that to rise above mere mortals, I would need to be an individual who has his emotions under control. To become an ubermench, to be the alpha male , to be a mentor who sacrifices his very being , his every belonging for the betterment of a noble cause, it was absolutely essential to be a person who wouldnt fall into such deplorable depths. But God and Life had other ideas, as they always have and they always will. The time came, when I saw her. Time stopped. Life seemed eternal. God seemed to be visible. A heart attack seemed eminent!
She did not even look at me. To her, I was a speck of dirt on a grain of sand. TO her, I was a non existent entity. To her I was weightless matter.
Love happened. So, I finally realized that love does exist. It doesnt spare the Gods. And that day, I realized that I am mortal. So much for my intentions. So much for my views about lovers being agents of Satan. So much for the fact that my best friend who was having an affair seemed to be the most successful man on earth. The pursuit of attaining her love became the only objective of my life. She came, I saw, I was conquered.
It took me a couple of months to gather courage and talk to her. I even managed to ask her name. She replied. For a few minutes, the only thought in my mind was her name. A name which sounded to be the second most melodious sound in the world. The first being 'Amma'.
A few more months passed by. I cursed myself. I cursed the seasons. Because they changed so soon. Because they never gave me an opportunity to ask her out. Because I appeared so gawky, so irritating and very annoying to her. Every working day, I used to see her for a couple of hours. Those couple of hours were all what mattered to me. I wanted her to be mine. I wanted our kids to be like her. She was my only purpose. She was my only destiny. She was to be mine. Just mine. And anyone else who had set his sight on her would be immersed in the devil's pot and scalded forever. And even after that as well!
Then she left. And met me after a few months. I was still enamoured by her. And I realized that I even dont have her phone number! But I had a couple of years to work my magic. Probably, fate would assist me. But as always, fate had other plans.
An year passed. And I stopped loving her. I wondered how could I stop loving her! It was just an infatuation. But can an infatuation be so strong?! Can love be so weak? Can love just start and stop? Can love be measured? Can love be....whatnot!!?
Indeed I still think about her sometimes. But, the seasons have passed and I dont curse them anymore. I believe that she wasnt meant to be mine. I wasnt meant to be hers. I think I finally realized what love is. Love is my first crush. It was my first crush. It was your first crush as well.
And can you believe it? I still dont have her number!
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